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Encino Man Quotes is a 1992 American comedy film directed by Les Mayfield and starring Sean Asotin, Brendan Fraser, and Pauly Shore. The film follows two high school students who discover a frozen caveman in their backyard and thaw him out, leading to a series of misadventures as they try to help him adapt to modern life. The movie has since become a cult classic and is remembered for its humor and memorable quotes.
“Wheezing’ the juice!” – Stoney Brown (Pauly Shore)
This line became one of the most famous quotes from the movie, as Stoney exclaims it while showing Link (Brendan Fraser) how to inhale from a water bottle. The phrase became a catchphrase and was often repeated by fans of the movie.
“I want you to hit me as hard as you can.” – Dave Morgan (Sean Asotin)
After finding out that Link has superhuman strength, Dave asks him to punch him in the face as hard as he can. This quote became famous due to a similar line in the movie Fight Club.
“Aloha, Mr. Hand!” – Link
In a nod to the character Mr. Hand from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Link greets a surly math teacher with this Hawaiian greeting.
“I’m not a geek, I’m a unique weasel.” – Stoney
As the two boys try to get Link to fit in at school, Stoney comes up with this phrase to describe Link’s eccentricities.
“Don’t make me unleash my deadly purse.” – Cavegirl (Robin Tunney)
After Link saves her from some unwanted advances, the Cavegirl threatens her would-be attackers with this funny line.
“I’m sorry I’m not a litterbug.” – Link
After throwing a candy wrapper on the ground, Link is reprimanded by Dave for littering. This leads to the funny exchange where Link apologizes for not being a litterbug.
“Tastes like wood.” – Dave
As the boys try to get Link to eat different foods, Dave makes this assessment of one particularly unappetizing dish.
“We should call him California Kid.” – Stoney
As they try to come up with a name for their newly discovered caveman, Stoney suggests this California-inspired moniker.
“Don’t have a cow, man.” – Link
In another nod to pop culture, Link quotes Bart Simpson’s famous catchphrase from The Simpsons.
“He’s the missing link between the Stone Age and the Cold War.” – Science Teacher (Michael Koplow)
As Link is examined by the school’s science teacher, he comes up with this humorous description of the caveman’s unique situation.
“We’re gonna party like it’s 60,000 BC!” – Stoney Brown
Stoney says this when he and Dave decide to introduce Link to the modern world by taking him to a party. The line is a play on the song “1999” by Prince.
“Link, he’s like your new best friend.” – Dave Morgan
Dave says this to his parents after he and Stoney bring Link into their home. He is trying to convince them that Link is harmless and that they should let him stay.
“Link, make fire.” – Dave Morgan
Dave says this to Link, hoping to demonstrate to his parents that Link has some primitive intelligence.
“My whole life, people have been trying to put me in a box.” – Link
Link says this when he is trying to explain to Dave and Stoney that he doesn’t want to go back to the museum. He feels like he has finally found a place where he belongs.
“You’re like, totally pale.” – Stoney Brown
Stoney says this to Link when he first sees him after he thaws out. He is amazed by Link’s appearance and thinks he must be an albino.
“I’m a walking popsicle, man!” – Link
Link says this when he first wakes up in the modern world and realizes that he has been frozen for thousands of years.
“I hate it when I get brain freeze.” – Link
Link says this after he tries a Slurpee for the first time and gets a brain freeze. It’s a funny moment that shows how unfamiliar he is with modern conveniences.
“Dude, it’s like he’s from another planet or something.” – Dave Morgan
Dave says this to Stoney after they first meet Link. He can’t believe how different Link is from anyone they’ve ever met before.
“I’m not a caveman, I’m a thawed-out human being.” – Link
Link says this when he gets frustrated with being treated like a primitive caveman. He wants to be recognized as a person who just happens to have been frozen for thousands of years.
“The skateboard… it’s a beautiful thing.” – Link
Link says this when he first sees Stoney’s skateboard. He is amazed by the concept and wants to try it out for himself.
“The cool thing about living in the 90s is you don’t have to settle for frozen food anymore.” – Dave Morgan
Dave says this to Link when he offers him some frozen pizza. It’s a humorous commentary on how far modern conveniences have come.
“You know, maybe he’s not so much of a barbarian as he is a man-child.” – Dave Morgan
Dave says this when he is trying to make sense of Link’s behavior. He realizes that Link is not just a primitive caveman, but also someone who has never had the chance to grow up.
“He’s gonna make a great quarterback someday.” – Stoney Brown
Stoney says this when Link shows off his throwing arm. It’s a funny moment that highlights how clueless Stoney is about modern sports.
“I just want to be like you, Dave.” – Link
Link says this when he is feeling down about not fitting in. He sees Dave as a role model and wants to be more like him.
“You know what I like most about high school girls? I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” – Stoney
Stoney is trying to flirt with a group of high school girls, but his approach is clearly inappropriate and not well-received.
“Takes big cojones to wear that hat, man.” – Dave
Dave compliments Stoney on his hat, which is a traditional Mexican sombrero. This leads to a conversation about cultural appropriation and respect.
“Dude, you’re like a mutant ninja eskimo!” – Stoney
Stoney is impressed by Link’s unique appearance and quirky personality.
“When you need me, just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Stoney? You just put your lips together and blow.” – Link
Link is attempting to emulate a famous line from the movie “To Have and Have Not” starring Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall.
“I got the munchies. I want some pie, man.” – Stoney
Stoney is feeling the effects of smoking marijuana and is craving some food.
“We’re gonna make you cool.” – Stoney
Stoney and Dave take it upon themselves to give Link a makeover and teach him how to fit in with the cool crowd at school.
“This guy’s been frozen for a really long time.” – Dave
Dave explains to his science teacher that Link is actually a caveman who has been frozen for thousands of years.
“It’s a bone. A bone, man! It’s not like you have to invent it!” – Stoney
Stoney is frustrated with Dave’s lack of progress on their science project and reminds him that they just need to present a basic concept.
“You’re the missing link.” – Dave
Dave jokes with Link, pointing out the irony that his name literally means he is the missing piece in the evolutionary chain.
“It’s like somebody slammed the breaks on evolution.” – Dave
Dave uses this analogy to describe how Link’s appearance and behavior are so primitive compared to modern humans.
“When in doubt, whack a mole.” – Stoney
Stoney gives this advice to Link when he is struggling to understand the rules of baseball.
“That’s a big rock!” – Link
Link is fascinated by modern technology and is amazed by a simple rock he finds in Dave’s backyard.
“This ain’t the stone age, you know.” – Dave
Dave is trying to convince Link to modernize his appearance and behavior to fit in with society.
“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to make your head bleed. But it’s not that bad.” – Stoney
Stoney accidentally hits Dave in the head with a shovel and tries to downplay the severity of the injury.
“Link, you’re a genius.” – Dave
Dave is impressed with Link’s natural intelligence and quick learning abilities.
“Don’t bogart the bathroom, man.” – Stoney
Stoney is frustrated with Dave for taking too long in the bathroom and not sharing the space.
“Hey, hey, hey! It’s Wayne’s World, Wayne’s World, party time, excellent.” – Stoney
Stoney and Link perform a rendition of the theme song from “Wayne’s World” while at a club.
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30 Encino Man Quotes
- “Weird, but not unattractive.” – Dave Morgan
- “He’s not a caveman. He’s my project.” – Stoney Brown
- “Buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, rockin’ everywhere!” – Dave Morgan
- “I’m not a nerd, I’m a punk!” – Stoney Brown
- “Wheezing the juice!” – Dave Morgan
- “That’s it, we’re going to Burge Rama.” – Stoney Brown
- “I can’t do this! I’m an educated man!” – Dave Morgan
- “He’s just a caveman. Cut him some slack.” – Stoney Brown
- “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.” – Linkovich Chomofsky
- “What are you guys, like stand-up comedians or something?” – Matt Wilson
- “I think we’re entering a new phase of Buddy’s education.” – Dave Morgan
- “Don’t you think it’s time you took a shower?” – Dave Morgan
- “This is gonna be the best day ever!” – Stoney Brown
- “If you’re gonna drink and drive, do it at home.” – Dave Morgan
- “Buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, rocking’ everywhere!” – Stoney Brown
- “I am the master of the tongs!” – Linkovich Chomofsky
- “It’s not the size of the tongs that counts, it’s how you flip the meat.” – Dave Morgan
- “I’m just trying to help my caveman get laid.” – Stoney Brown
- “I’m like, you know, a total mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma.” – Linkovich Chomofsky
- “I’m sorry, Stoney, but we’re gonna have to bury him.” – Dave Morgan
- “I’m not an idiot. I’m a genius without the grades.” – Stoney Brown
- “We’re gonna make Buddy a hit with the ladies.” – Dave Morgan
- “I am not a nerd. I am a warrior.” – Linkovich Chomofsky
- “You’re lucky I’m so jacked up on Mountain Dew right now.” – Stoney Brown
- “Caveman ain’t gonna be no virgin for long.” – Dave Morgan
- “It’s like a slushie, only it’s not.” – Stoney Brown
- “He’s not just a caveman, he’s a fashion accessory.” – Dave Morgan
- “I don’t have any caveman clothes. All I have are these shorts and T-shirts.” – Linkovich Chomofsky
- “This is your crib? I’ve seen better.” – Linkovich Chomofsky
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